There's a 'Person of the Year' for Everyone: A Pope, a Clown, an Entity and More

December 24, 2013 - 10:18 AM

A Pope, a clown and an entity walk into a bar only to find they're all the "Person of the Year" - and they're not alone.

If you thought it was hard to become "Person of the Year," or that there was only one, think again. Apparently, it really is all about who you know and if they like your politics. Here are just a few of the wide range of folks named "Person of the Year" in 2013:

A Radio Host: Rush Limbaugh - World Net Daily: "To put it simply, 2013 is a history-making year for the broadcast giant. Perhaps another, more accurate, way to phrase that is 2013 is a history-celebrating year for Rush."

A lot of conservative talk radio fans who saw this are probably saying, "Ditto."

A Pontiff: Pope Francis - Time Magazine: "He took the name of a humble saint and then called for a church of healing. The first non-European pope in 1,200 years is poised to transform a place that measures change by the century."

I must confess, I can't find fault with this choice.

A Fugitive: Edward Snowden - Acronym TV: "Edward Snowden opened up a Pandora's box that cannot be closed. In the Christmas season, many parents of small children will find themselves humming the refrain "he see you when you're sleeping and knows when your awake, he knows if you've been bad or good..." to keeps kids in line with the promise of toys under the tree. Adults, however, are now confronted with a reality that can no longer be dismissed as conspiracy theory paranoia: The NSA, for all intents and purposes, sees us when we sleep, and wake. The data, we are learning is being collected pre-emotively. Just in case."

Wonder if Acronym TV leaked the winner before the official announcement.

A 70's Singer: Carole King - MusiCares (2014): "King is being honored as the 2014 MusiCares Person of the Year in recognition of her extraordinary creative accomplishments as well as her significant charitable work, which has included an impressive range of philanthropic activities over the years. In addition to her continuously evolving musical career, King is actively involved with environmental organizations in support of forest wilderness preservation as well as a range of political causes."

Listening to the oldies station had me wondering what Carole King's been doing the past 40 years.

An Actress: Kerry Washington - Washington Post's The Reliable Source: "We're so used to celebrities behaving like spoiled, look-at-me brats that it's easy to overlook Hollywood's grown-ups. But 2013 was Kerry Washington's year - for all the right reasons."

A Rodeo Clown: "Tuffy" - Sedalia, MO: "Tuffy Gessling. The rodeo clown in the middle of the Obama mask incident at the Missouri State Fair."

Hometown boy makes it big, at least in his own hometown. Tuffy clobbered his competition, gaining 70% of the vote, compared to the 16% garnered by the runner-up (Sedalia's Sting Unit).

A Foul-Mouthed Comedian: Ricky Gervais - PETA: At a time when social media influences the outcome of everything from presidential elections to concert bookings, Ricky Gervais, who keeps his 5.3 million Twitter followers informed on animal rights issues in a witty and irreverent-yet relevant-way, has been named PETA's 2013 Person of the Year.

I'd quote one of Gervais' Tweets, but I consider dropping the F-Bomb indecorous.

A Mysterious Entity: Satoshi Nakamoto - Business Insider: "Although to this day no one knows who Satoshi Nakamoto is (or are - for the latest theories check out Chart Girl's running chart) Bitcoin evangelists make the case that his true identity doesn't matter: what he's created is changing the world."

Are there eight Bitcoins in a Bytecoin?