Would You Do Porn for Your Mom if It Made Her Call You 'Awesome'?

January 24, 2014 - 11:19 AM

Would you really do anything for your mom? No, really, I know you love your mom dearly and all, but would you really do anything for her?

So you would, eh? Okay, let's put that to the test. Would you do gay porn for your mom? Would you perform oral sex on other men, or let them sodomize you, on camera for money for your mom?

Well, if the answer is no, then you just don't love your mom as much as Robert Marucci of Cocoa High School in Orlando, Florida does.

Marucci, 18, has been "acting" in gay porn films in order to financially support his mother, Melyssa Lieb. "I think he's the most awesome person in the world," she said. "He stood up and he was the man of the house when I couldn't be."

There was a day, not too long ago mind you, when a high school senior performing in gay porn wasn't thought to be "the most awesome person in the world" by his mother. Instead, he might be grounded, sent to counseling, and those that got him into such immoral and vile conduct might even face criminal prosecution.

But that is so backward and bigoted. Thankfully, we live in a brave, new world, where we magically know so much more than the generations that built the greatest nation on earth. So instead of being ashamed and heartbroken her high school senior son fell into such depravity, Lieb sees her son as the wind beneath her wings.

Of course, we could always blame this on Obummer. His economy is in such sad shape teenagers can't even find jobs at McDonald's or movie theaters anymore. So they have to do gay porn to help mom out instead. Just wonder, like when a football player says "hi mom" into the camera after he makes a big play, did Marucci look into the camera and say "hi mom" after his gay porn Magnum Opus?

Who says family values are dead?

Once his "performances" were discovered by his classmates at Cocoa High School, the senior was temporarily expelled for his moonlighting as a boy toy, before the school bowed to pressure to reinstate him.

Hey, who are we to judge? Some kids do choir after school, some kids play sports, some kids smoke pot...okay, a lot of kids smoke pot. And some kids have sex with human waste disposals on camera. Live and let live, I always say.

We reap what we sow. We wanted a culture of no absolutes, no boundaries, and no restraints. So that's just what we got. Heck, maybe Marucci can even get a letterman's jacket for his exploits. On the back they can put his gay porn stage name, and I'll bet "Biff Hammer" would look dope in his high school colors. Now that would make any mama proud.

Just think of the life-track Marucci is on. He's already doing gay porn in high school. Shoot, by the time he's 30 he might graduate to human trafficking or own his own eastern European hostel. This is definitely going to end well.

Oh, by the way, anybody know where Marucci's dad is? Yeah, neither do I. Discover the answer to that question, and you'll probably find out why a high school senior is doing gay porn to pay the bills for his mom.