Chris Cuomo Jokes About Swab Size Used on Governor, Asks If Doctor's Finger 'Got Stuck’ in Andrew’s Nose

By Susan Jones | May 21, 2020 | 8:02am EDT
Chris Cuomo jokes about the swab size used on the governor's "double-barrel shotgun" of a nose. (Photo: Screen capture)
Chris Cuomo jokes about the swab size used on the governor's "double-barrel shotgun" of a nose. (Photo: Screen capture)

( - New York Governor Andrew Cuomo appeared on his brother Chris's show again Wednesday night, this time wearing a face mask, which prompted an attempt at jocularity and down-home brotherly banter right off the bat.

Later, after some serious questions about the coronavirus pandemic that has killed so many people in New York and produced a crippling shutdown of the state, CNN's Chris Cuomo played a video of Andrew getting tested for coronavirus at his live-TV news conference on May 17.

"There's you," Chris said as video of Andrew getting the nasal swab test rolled. "You were kind of funny, and they were testing you. Now, a few questions about this process.

"First of all, is it true that when you were having the test administered, you inhaled and the doctor's finger went all the way up your nose and got stuck and had to be released with a tool? Is that true, just to deal with the issue?” Chris asked.

"No," Andrew said. “She wanted to comment that I have a little button nose, that she was afraid that the swab would actually hurt because it extended my nasal cavity. She was speaking about the delicacy of the nose."

"You know what, I understand," Chris said. "This is the normal swab I'm holding up here now for everybody at home. A very valuable object. There's only one company in the entire country that makes these, up in Maine. All right, here's the swab.

"Is it true that this (much larger swab) was the swab that the nurse was actually using on you and that at first it went into your nose and disappeared so that in scale, this (even larger swab) was the actual swab that was being used to fit up that double-barrel shotgun that you have mounted on the front of your pretty face?"

"See, I said I was going to be nice and sweet -- I was trying--" Andrew said.

"I just want a yes or no," Chris said. "Was it this or was it this? Look, which was it?" Chris asked, waving the two enormous swabs.

"You know, first I thought I did so well on that nasal test standing up there. She did the swab, I did not flinch. I was a cool dude in a loose mood, didn't move," Andrew said.

"Of course you were," Chris said. "That swab is like a piece of lint going in that thing in your face. How could it have collected anything? It was like throwing a rock around a cave," Chris said.

"That is so not right," Andrew muttered.

"Was it this or was it this? Tell people the truth, come on, let's go. Which was it?" Chris asked again, waving the fake swabs.

"This is not love," Andrew said.

"Listen, just want to get -- I'm going to take a break, because if you're not going to answer questions, I'm going to have to reset. I thought there'd be a little transparency for the audience. I'll put it to them online.

“You know, this is the regular swab. This (larger swab) is what we're told disappeared in the governor's nose. And then we're told, this (huge swab) is what it took.

Mercifully, the swab routine ended there.

The swab joke was the Cuomo brother's second attempt at ha-ha's.

The scripted comedy routine began right at the beginning of the interview, as Chris introduced "my brother, Governor Andrew Cuomo."

"What, are you sick?" Chris asked, after seeing his brother wearing a blue face mask.

"No. Boy, you're fired up today," the governor responded. "No,  I'm not sick. But I don't want to be sick, I don't want to make other people sick. Hence, wear a mask. Wear a mask. It's a sign of respect. I respect you, you respect me. I thank the health care workers for everything they did. Wear a mask. Why, you don't like it? It matches my suit."

"No, I do like it, and I get the statement that you're making," Chris said. "This is what leaders should be doing -- you should be doing wat you're telling everybody else to do. I get it. I appreciate it. I don't think you need it right now, right? You're socially distanced," Chris said.

"Does it bother you?

"No, I think that the more that face (he pronounced it "fach-ay”) that's  covered, probably the better for my audience, but in terms of just seeing what's coming out up there -- you can then take it off.”

“I'm taking it off,” the governor said. “Yeah, if you like it, I'm taking it off.”

“No, I don't want to deny my audience that beautiful visage that they all like so much in the luv-guv.”

For the record, the governor removed his face mask for the duration of the remotely conducted interview.

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