America Has Its Narcissist-in-Chief, and Russia Has Theirs

By Jen Kuznicki | December 31, 2015 | 11:54am EST
Vladimir Putin on a hunting trip in the Siberian Tyva region in September 2010. He was Russia's prime minister at the time. (AP Photo/Dmitry Astakhov/RIA Novosti)

Does anyone really understand what makes Vladimir Putin tick?  Everyone knows he’s former KGB; he likes shirtless walks on the beach; he prefers riding his horse shirtless for some reason; he likes football team owners’ Super Bowl rings; he likes to invade and take over small countries near his borders; and so much more.  But what, say, would a guy who is leader of the country that used to be the powerful Soviet Union think was the best, top notch, irreplaceable gift he could give to the people who are lucky enough to serve in his government?

You guessed it, according to the New York Times, the Kremlin gave 400 pages of the most awe-inspiring quotes from the past year of Putin's public speeches.

It turns out that Vlad has some people around him that we would compare to say, Obama Mamas.

Remember Obama Mamas? They were souped-up crazed women who were totally in love with Barack Obama in 2008, embarrassingly so.  Every word out of their mouth had something to do with how Obama was going to change the world, lower the tides and walk on water. It was really quite a study in whipped up political psychosis.

So what should we call Vlad’s fawning believers?  Vlad’s Lads?

A fella named Vyacheslav Volodin, the first deputy head of the Kremlin, sent 1,000 of the 400-page books of Dear Leader’s Quotes out to the rest of the Kremlin as New Year’s gifts.

By the way, is that a Russian thing?  I never get presents on New Year’s Eve or Day, but if I got a book by Vladimir Putin, from Vladimir Putin, I’d probably stab it with a wooden stake and see if it bled.

The funny thing is, people, by and large, don’t read a lot of political books, and when they do it’s better to keep it short.  A book half the size of the one Putin sent out has a better chance of being consumed, but I wonder if the people of the Kremlin are all either Vlad’s Lads types or if they are required to read and recite the entire book.

So, what kind of genius, erudite, one-liners-for-the-ages do we get from Vlad?  (I’m so excited, aren’t you?)

We will waste them in the outhouse.”

“I drink kefir.”

“We in Russia turn a sports competition into a really spectacular event and we are good at it.”

Pure poetry.

Wow. What eloquence.  What a master of brevity, and with the wit of a hundred Mark Twains!  Such expressiveness and grandiloquence, the likes of which have never been heretofore embodied by one very short man with beady eyes, who will tell you he’s the tallest man in Russia with the most beautiful eyes imaginable.

How do people fall for this kind of tripe?  Well, I guess there has been a bit of history that might have something to do with coercion and threats of bodily harm, but other than that?

I guess to understand the people who published the book all you have to do is read their mission statement: “We are together with the father, at one with him. We do not fight against the power of the father; we share it, we learn to use it, and together with the father we direct its energy towards our present and future.”  Putin, to them, is Father Russia.

In all seriousness, the fact that Putin, who, by the way, claims he had nothing whatsoever to do with this book (sure), had this go to the top politicians of the Kremlin is a lot like Mao Tse Tung’s Little Red Book on communism, as was pointed out by some of his critics. 

I guess America has its Narcissist in Chief, and Russia has theirs.

Jen Kuznicki is a wife and mother, seamstress by trade, and American patriot who says, "Now is the time to act."

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